Remembering Mom

Richard & I get the Hartford Courant every Thursday and Sunday. I must admit that we subscribe to have easy access to the store ads (food, pharmacy, and other places to compare prices for things we need). So I rarely read the actual paper. But today as I flipped through the stack, my eye caught the title of an article under the picture of a beautiful woman holding up a smiling baby. The article was "Left With Love - Coping With My Mother's Death, One Step At A Time". 

I thought about our Mom. Tomorrow makes 16 years since she passed away. I feel I'm still coping with her death because I think of her so often. 

So much has changed in those years - Barbie, Dad and Judy went to join her in heaven; we all grew up, and those of us that were grown up have grown old. Fear of terrorist and global warming are pushed into our thoughts daily via our obsession with technology - hating to surrender our time to it, but afraid of missing something if we don't. 

Yes, time marches on, but not everything is gloom and doom. We've had weddings, graduations, grandchildren, and other wonderful events. And through it all, the memory of Mom is there. And our love for each other is always there too. I credit Mom and Dad for that - we just can't stay mad at family for long, no matter what the circumstances are. And we include everyone, absent or present, living or gone, in our celebration of good times.  

So, back to the newspaper article. It is a heartfelt and well written story. But the one thing that stood out for me was a short reflection the author heard at church. It said:

     

"Love doesn't die, people do.

So when all that's left of me is love

Give me away."

Enjoy your weekend and the beautiful colors of fall. I can almost hear Mom exclaiming "Oh, the trees are so lovely - I just want to paint them!"   I love you all! 

Hippity Hoppity

Spring is finally here! The nights are still cold, but the temperature on most days is above freezing. And although snow piles still cover almost every corner and shady spot, they are getting smaller each day. That's a sure sign. The end of a long, cold, snowy winter emphasizes my yearning to get outside and enjoy the warm sun. And to think about Easter.

When you're Roman Catholic, Easter is the most holy day of the year. It's big - bigger than Christmas or any other holiday. Easter is the whole reason Catholics are Catholics. As children, we were strongly encouraged to "give something up" for the season of Lent - the five weeks before Easter Sunday. We'd resolve to give up candy (which we didn't get often anyway). Or we'd promise to keep our rooms clean. Or stop fighting with each other. And in most cases, we stuck to our little sacrifice.

At school, we were reminded daily that Lent was the most holy season, and that Jesus died for our sins and rose again on Easter Sunday. It wasn't like before Christmas when everything was festive and fun. The start of Lent gave rise to an increase in religious education and time spent in church. The entire school would attend Mass every Friday morning, followed the Stations of the Cross. We read the story of the Last Supper on Holy Thursday. On Good Friday we stayed in quiet prayer until 3:00 (the hour the bible said that Jesus died on the cross). We went to confession to prepare for communion at Easter Mass, a requirement to complete our "Easter Duty" - yes, that's a real Catholic rule. 

But it wasn't all praying and penance. I remember Mom making several dozen hard-boiled eggs on Holy Saturday so we could dye two or three eggs each. Egg dying started with hot water and white vinegar - to this day the smell of vinegar reminds me of Easter. We'd use every coffee cup in the house, lined up the length of the kitchen table, for dipping our eggs. We made pastel and bold colored eggs and write secret messages with wax crayons that appeared as the egg turned color. 

Easter Mass was such an event that each of us always had a new outfit, usually down to our underwear. Mom would take us out shopping in groups of two or three. My new Easter dress was usually accompanied by a cute hat. I loved wearing pretty hats with big brims. And white socks with frilly lace edges under cute Mary-Jane shoes. 

When we lived in California it was always warm and sunny on Easter. But once we moved to Deerfield it was still cold enough for coats, especially in years that Easter fell in March. I was always a little sad when my pretty new dress had to be covered up by a frumpy old coat. Easter was one of the few times we all attended church as a family instead of splitting into two groups and going at different times. Easter Mass was always a beautiful celebration of life and rebirth. I felt holy and blessed as Mass ended and the congregation spilled outside into the spring sunshine. 
  
After church we'd have a big Sunday breakfast. Dad replaced the usual bacon with Easter kielbasa and we'd have English muffins instead of toast. The atmosphere was festive as we sat down to breakfast. 

After church, breakfast and pictures, we were finally allowed to get out empty Easter baskets (usually saved from previous years). My parents hid the eggs we had dyed and small candies in the Living Room, which was usually off-limits to kids. A staggered start was used to make sure the youngest kids got an equal share of the goodies. We'd race around trying to grab as much candy and eggs as we could. I thought children who got the pre-assembled baskets of toys and candy that we saw in stores must be very rich and lucky. But we were happy with our little candy hunt. Easter, after all, was about Jesus saving our souls, not the bunny. 

When every visible piece of candy and colored eggs were found, we'd give the dyed eggs to Mom, who would transform them into delicious deviled eggs and potato salad for dinner. Easter dinner was usually ham, although occasionally Mom would make leg of lamb, served with bright green mint jelly.   

And that was Easter at our house. I think it's strange that the smells of Easter are such a unique part of the holiday. If planning a holiday from scratch, I doubt you'd say, "Let's start by making the house smell like vinegar and hard-boiled eggs."

Happy Easter!!!